I am Queen Bie… With character so strong, thought nothing can turn me down… I was able to surpass every trial life thrown on my way, that’s what I believe… Shallow things like exams, sensitive, close minded people, an autocratic boss, toxic life of being a nurse, irritating patients... name it, I can handle it… I really never mind or really took time to look for my sensitive side… Never really gave it too much attention nor gave it a good foundation… Thought developing my strong points will hide my weaknesses… Believed I was strong for so long… Until now… When I realized… I was wrong…
It’s been years… I graduated from the
He’s always been nice, though not that attentive, He is really a nice guy… I think he has everything a girl would ever want for a man… He is smart… Really talented… Artistic… And, a plus, He is really good looking… He could easily pass for a model… He is hardworking… He is nice… Really… Which makes me fall for Him… For years…
My 23rd Birthday was really the best birthday I had, so far… He was there… I invited Him, and with a common friend, He came… His presence is actually the best gift I ever received… It’s actually what I prayed for… Thought it was something… But its just nothing…
He was the second man I loved after the tragic death of my first boyfriend… He knows my feelings for Him… I’m quite vocal about it… But He is a man… A person… Has freewill… And no matter how I wanted Him to love me… No matter how hard I pray… He will never love me… For what reason, one thing is for sure… The reality…
For so long, I loved Him… It’s been years… I never let other guys court me… Never gave them my attention… All I want is Him… But this is fate… He loves somebody else… Not me… I don’t want to fool myself and wish them both happiness… Because right now… I’m in pain… The kind of pain that even the pain scale can never rate, nor can be defined by books… It is my fault… I let my guard down… I let myself fall into Him so deep… I let myself love Him so much… And even wished that maybe, someday, I will be able to make Him happy by offering my life and dedicating it to Him… I was such a fool… And because of it… I’m in pain…
“You deserve to be love...”A cliché I will always remember for the rest of my life… A cliché He said before saying “Sorry, I just can’t..”… A cliché that hurt me so bad, it torn me apart and puts me in this situation from which I want to escape… A cliché… that kills my heart and soul gently…
I am Queen Bie… And YES! I LOVED Mark Edison Arzola so much… I am Queen Bie… and yes… I am a “damsel in distress” as of the moment… I am Queen Bie… And I know I can make through this… When? I don’t know… But I will… And when that day comes… I know… I’ll be different… I am Queen Bie… I deserve to be loved… But sorry… He just can’t…
I know you are hurting too much.. All I can advice is that you also need to accept the reality that he can never be yours at this moment.. Just pray to God. He will guide you to the right person, and he can help you find person that will love you more than you love Mark. You're still young, there are other things to achieve and you can meet new friends. Your time to be happy will come soon.. ♥
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